I’m not even a big influencer, but I’ve experienced hate comments in my time. When you’re just starting out, you’re more likely to receive hateful comments first. That’s how social media works. People are quick to leave negative comments, but when they have something nice to say, they often don’t bother. It’s fair to say that hate comments are a minority in the comment section, yet they are the ones that evoke the strongest emotions in us.
What do hate comments say?
Has anyone called you ugly? Fat? Stupid? Incompetent? Old? How do you deal with that? You need to be present on social media to promote your business, but you’re tired of clowns leaving hate comments? Sure, it’s easy to delete the comment, but once you’ve read it, you can’t unread it. The common advice from influencers or popular people is to realize that anyone leaving hateful comments must have a very sad life to spend their time doing this. You’re supposed to feel sorry for them.
While that’s true, it didn’t necessarily help me in dealing with it. In theory, it’s great advice, but in practice, it didn’t make me feel better. I don’t want to think about the person posting hate comments. I don’t care who they are. Not a single second of my life I will dedicate to thinking about how bad this clown’s life is.
I needed to find a better way, especially after a couple of my videos went viral on TikTok, which made my account visible to more weirdos. Don’t worry—there is a solution that works, but it’s rooted a bit deeper than it seems. Let me break it down for you with some examples.
Control your inner voice
The bottom line is this: If you’re not harsh on yourself, if your inner voice doesn’t constantly tell you that you’re useless, always late, an idiot, fat, ugly, lazy—do you recognize this voice? Did you forget to buy something at the shop? A silly mistake, and that voice automatically says, “Oh god, I’m an idiot, I’m so stupid.”
For me, it’s when I overeat and feel heavy afterwards. I say to myself, “You’re such a pig; you always do this. You’re dumb.” My hate comments are mostly about my weight, so when a stranger told me the same thing I kept telling myself—that I’m a pig—it hurt because I believed he was right.
When a family member told me I should watch what I eat, or when a friend asked if I’d gained weight, and then a stranger commented on TikTok under my videos saying I’m a “fat bitch,” it was hard not to believe it. The wording matters, of course. So first, I needed to change my inner voice to be kinder to myself. But I also have to keep trying to improve. I can’t just do nothing and say, “I was born this way, this is me.” No. I know I have a weight problem.
My body has around 10-14 kilos of pure fat, and that’s a fact. But am I doing something about it? Am I trying? Have I tried? Yes. And I’m proud of myself. I’m really trying, and if I don’t see results yet, I just need to keep trying. So when a hater comments that I’m fat, he’s right. But I’m okay with it because I’m trying. Nobody is perfect; everyone has their flaws—that’s what makes our story.
When hate comments hit the spot
Some haters have commented on my YouTube, saying I’m incompetent and don’t know what I’m talking about. Well, let’s look at the facts. I’ve trained over 1,500 people face-to-face, including members of the British Parliament and some Fortune 500 companies, with very good reviews from them. I have 5,000 subscribers on YouTube who enjoy and appreciate my content. I have 13,000 followers on TikTok who like what I do and how I do it. So, is this hater right? Nope. End of story.
People online can also pick on your accent or the way you speak. Haters can point out the tiniest details of what you do or say, and it gets you thinking, “Do I really do that? Is it annoying to my audience?” Again, it could be annoying for real, or it could be something that makes you unique. I’ve created an online course about how to speak confidently in front of a camera, where I explain some of the mistakes or things that show you’re nervous. Yes, these things could be cute, but also annoying because they take away from the message of the video—that’s the main problem. (You can order the course now and receive it today.)
Do haters prevent you from posting?
One of my clients, who I help with their podcast, told me during our online consultation that she doesn’t want to post videos on Facebook anymore. I told her it’s not a great idea since Facebook is an essential platform to promote her podcast with 50+ women. She said she received a comment that just made her day worse. The person said, “Why should I listen to two old ugly hags?” It was the first and only comment under that video, posted shortly after she uploaded it. My client was upset. I told her that the comment was really stupid and not true.
Firstly, nobody is forcing anyone to listen to anything online. You go online and click on stuff. Yes, some things are presented to you by the algorithm, but you’re free to scroll. Also, the lack of intelligence of this person shows that they’re not part of the podcast’s target audience, so no, in fact, they shouldn’t listen.
Secondly, being old is subjective. I am 33; sometimes I feel like I’m 90, and other times like I’m 16. Being scientifically old means you have life experience, wisdom, and knowledge. And lastly, ugly is subjective too. Look in the mirror and ask your voice, “Am I ugly?” Your kind voice, the one you’ve trained, will say, “No, you are beautiful.” Because you are. As Freddie Mercury said: “I’d like to dedicate this next song only to beautiful people in here, which means all of you.”
Grow your business on social media
If you want to understand TikTok as a platform for your business, you can check out my practical TikTok online course, where I explain how I went viral and what exactly it did for my business. TikTok is currently the only platform where you can get organic reach without a huge number of followers. Funnily, I recently saw a video from a girl who had only 2 followers. She made a video about how she only had 2 followers, and the video went viral with 18 million views. She now has over 240,000 followers.
@jac.q its always the little sister 🙂↕️ #strawberrypicking #nj #thingstodo #humbling #nyc
I was watching Piers Morgan’s show one evening when Ben Shapiro, for some reason, commented on Taylor Swift. He said he was sure she was so happy to finally have a boyfriend and was hoping and praying that he would propose to her. It made me laugh that he would even try to make that kind of comment, especially about Taylor Swift. However, if Taylor Swift had been suffering from inner insecurity and her inner voice was harsh, then yes, maybe she would have been very upset by that comment. Emotion would win over reason.
So remember: make your inner voice kind. And secondly, look at the facts.
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